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Writer's pictureSamantha Urell

Internal Templates & Self-Narratives: Rewriting the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Updated: Jun 8

Each of us has a rich internal landscape, shaped by years of experience, upbringing, cultural background, and individual events that have left their mark. The stories and narratives that reside in this landscape act as internal templates—patterns of belief and understanding that influence how we perceive ourselves, our past, and the world around us.


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Understanding Our Internal Templates

Our internal templates often arise from repeated experiences or messages we've received over the years. Think about the affirmations or criticisms you heard growing up. Maybe you were told you had a "natural talent" for something or were chastised for "always being lazy." Over time, these messages embed themselves in our psyche, becoming templates that shape our self-conception.


For many, these narratives become so ingrained that they're viewed as unchangeable truths. "I'm just not good at public speaking," one might say, or "I've always been the responsible one."


The Harm in Holding onto Rigid Narratives

While some internal templates can be empowering, others limit our potential and damage our self-worth. Here's how:

  • Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: If we believe we're destined to fail, we might not even try. Or, we might give up at the first sign of resistance, thereby fulfilling our own negative prophecy.

  • Stagnation: Rigid narratives can prevent personal growth. If you're "always the quiet one," you might never challenge yourself to lead or voice your opinions.

  • Distorted Reality: Clinging to outdated stories can prevent us from seeing the reality of our current situation. We might overlook our achievements or magnify our perceived shortcomings.

Shifting to Positive, Self-Loving Narratives

Thankfully, our minds are flexible. We have the power to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. Here's how:


Awareness is the First Step: Start by identifying the internal narratives you hold. Journaling, therapy, or introspective practices can help illuminate these ingrained beliefs.

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Challenge Negative Templates: Whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying a limiting belief, challenge it. Ask yourself: "Is this really true? Is there evidence to the contrary?"


Reframe with Compassion: For every negative story, there's a positive counterpart. Instead of "I'm terrible with money," try "I'm learning to be better with finances every day."


Embrace Growth: Accept that you're a work in progress. Mistakes and setbacks don't define you—they're just part of the journey. Celebrate your growth and resilience.


Seek Support: Surround yourself with positive influences—friends, family, mentors, or professionals—who can help you see yourself in a new light.


The internal templates and narratives we hold onto deeply impact our lives, but they're not set in stone. By recognizing these patterns, challenging them, and actively rewriting our stories with love and positivity, we can pave the way for a more fulfilling and empowered life. Remember, you are the author of your story, and it's never too late to pen a new chapter.


Interested in starting therapy? Take a chance on Boundless Therapy today and begin your journey for healing. Begin now.


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